Through bribes, coercion and possibly a death threat (though we aren’t admitting it) we have managed to find these “thank you” notes sent by MIT Computer Engineering grad Jeremy Payne to various software companies over the course of his career.

1999.

“I have always wanted to work for Microsoft. Historically, you always pushed the envelope and you truly understand how to manage software development. I was offered other jobs in the industry with firms that just didn’t “get it,” no one else can match your devotion to quality and innovation. I would be happy to accept an offer for employment from the one company capable of leading us into the future.”

2006.

“I very happy that you have taken the time to review my application to Google. As a former Microsoft employee, I really appreciate what you are doing over there in Mountain View. I simply could not accept working at a company that is so far behind! I mean, when is VISTA coming out? LOL… I can’t believe I ever accepted their offer, it must have been all those “supplements” I took back in college (if you know that I mean). Ha, they’re dinosaurs, always were and always will be. Well, I am glad I am finally working for the one company capable of leading us into the future.”

2007.

“Thanks for helping me out with the job guys. Google pretty much sucks these days and I pretty much suck for ever working for those dweebs. They make about fifty products an hour that DO NOTHING, then they pat themselves on the back about it. They basically tricked me into coming to work for them, you know. Had to basically throw myself out of the window to get out of there. Well, I’m glad I finally got out of that trap. You guys are great, really moving this social networking thing forward. I am glad I am finally working for the one company capable of leading us into the future…”

[Lies provided by our evil, little brains. Photos by Flickr.]