We’re Big In Nigeria
My psychic tells me that I may have “The Gift,” usually this is right before some sordid story about her cats so I am not really sure what to make of it.
Where was I going with this? Oh yea. One of our Interns was putting together an article on some local Nigerian folk heroes the other day. These kind folk want nothing more than to free us of chains of capitalism and help us to donate to worthy charities all at the same time. I knew he was onto something, so I called John into the office.
I told him, “John, I need you in Nigeria right now. Something is a’brewin and we need to be on top of this.” We don’t let our Intern’s talk, but the nod I saw as he walked out of the throne room was all I needed. I might have even seen tears in his eyes.
Well, surprise surprise, looks like those 419 Folk Heroes were listening. Look at this letter John sent me a few days ago,
From: Intern John (…@yahoo.com)
Subject: EMERGENCY!!!
HELLO
HOW ARE YOU DOING? I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US, I KNOW THAT I CAN PUT MY TRUST IN YOU ON THIS. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN. RIGHT NOW I AM IN AFRICA, NIGERIA. I CAME HERE ON A TRIP TO DO TECHSPOOFS ARTICLE AND WHEN I GOT HERE I LOST MY WALLET CONTAINING THE ADRESS OF MY FRIEND AND HIS CONTACT PHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH MY ATM CARD AND OTHER VALUABLES.
SO RIGHT NOW I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME . I AM STAYING IN A HOTEL NOW , AND THE MANAGER IS ALREADY RANTING OVER HIS MONEY AND AS TIME GOES BY THE BILLS ARE INCREASING.
I WOULD WANT YOU TO LOAN ME $2000. I PROMISE TO PAY YOU BACK AS SOON AS I GET BACK… I WOULD WANT YOU TO HELP SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION . GET BACK AT ME ASAP.
HOPE TO READ FROM YOU…
JOHN
I’m not quite sure what John found over there in Nigeria, but if $2,000 is what he needs for the story of the century so be it. Though, I think next time I should send a copy editor with him….Interns…
[...] pretty sure that Sally is one of the Intern’s sisters, probably mad about that thing in Nigeria. So people, right? Either way, we’re back from Cancun and ready for brand new year of [...]
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