Looks like those folks over at Ars Technica finally got somethin’ right. Parent’s shouldn’t be afraid of letting their kids online. Let me tell you, I was on that MySpace thing for years — you know, before they went around deleting all those honest citizen’s profiles. Well, what did I learn from MySpace? These kids are pretty much too dumb to know how to use the internets anyway.

Like I was talking to this one girl, SarahJess24 — lemme tell you, she was one wild chick. She sends me this invitation to look at her web cam, whoa — best $50 I’ve ever spent. I’m gettin’ ahead of myself. Sarah, she had this friend of hers, TinyTina22. Well, Tiny was what like 15 or somethin’. I know, I know, an upstanding citizen like myself shouldn’t be getting into that sort of thing but well…

Either way, she wouldn’t even talk to me. Said I was a “dirty old man” and should go back to “Trolling furry boards”. I don’t even know what a “furry board” is. What can I say, her loss. According to Ars, about 2% of her friends are just ready and rearing to hear from a guy like me. Next week, when all her friends have gotten some sweet, sweet Barry lovin’ she’ll wish she had come along with me to Troll those “furry boards”.

Ha, what a sucker…